Showalter, Torre on Market; God Help Us All

VIA FIRST-CLASS MAIL
1060 W. Addison
Chicago, IL 60613

Re: New Cubs Manager

Dear Mr. Hendry,

Please let this letter serve as a formal request that you make a decision soon regarding who you are going to hire as the new Cubs manager. As you are well aware, I have maintained the Fire Dusty Baker! website for some time now. Because of your recent moronic comments, I have been forced to reserve and maintain Fire Lou Piniella!. Frankly, Mr. Hendry, I have neither the time nor the patience to maintain Fire Buck Showalter! and Fire Joe Torre!, nor do I know if either of those websites are available. Please accept this formal request to resolve this issue in a timely manner for the sake of Cubs fans and bloggers everywhere.

Thank you very much for your attention to this matter.

Very truly yours,
Bad Kermit